Jerking-off…

...while blowing up a raft: mastur-inflate
...to be really happy: mastur-elate
...while seeds are spouting: mastur-germinate
...while bees buzz from flower to flower: mastur-pollinate
...while you are annoyed: mastur-irritate
...while you annoy someone else: mastur-aggravate
...while singing happy birthday: mastur-celebrate
...into a wood box: mastur-crate
...causing you not to be punctual: mastur-late
...is your destiny: mastur-fate
...if you Arnold Schwarzenegger: mastur-terminate
...while putting up a Christmas tree: mastur-decorate
...at the entrance of your garden: mastur-gate
...if you’re a Nazi: mastur-hate
...after you’ve taken yourself out to a dinner and a movie: mastur-date
...so much it falls off: mastur-amputate
...while you are angry: mastur-irate
...after your raft rips on some rocks: mastur-deflate
...onto a map: mastur-state
...to replenish fluids: mastur-hydrate
...even though you’re never satisfied: mastur-ingrate
...if you’re Jerry Lewis: mastur-imitate
...while partaking in a verbal argument: mastur-debate
...with a ruler: mastur-straight
...while chewing: mastur-cate
...while standing in line at the DMV: mastur-wait
...onto a scale: mastur-weight
...with an Australian friend: mastur-mate
...while dancing like Elvis: mastur-gyrate
...with respect, reverence, or heartfelt deference: mastur-venerate
...while calculating the value of something: mastur-rate
...while fishing: mastur-bait
...polishing your grundle: mastur-taint
...in a flashy, showy, or florid style: mastur-ornate
...cooking a turkey: mastur-baste
...for the last time: mastur-castrate
...if your George Bush: mastur-head-of-state
...while coercing others with threats: mastur-intimidate